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 Spider horror story

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KnightLeader
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
KnightLeader


Posts : 61
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 29
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 9:09 pm

Alrighty then, this will be our first official story time!

It's about spiders

Now when it comes to spiders, i believe there are three types of reactions:
1) Freak the fuck out... someone sees a spider and goes into berserk termanator mode/ super pansy get the fuck out of the room mode.

2) Then there are the people who love spiders and study them... weirdos

3) then there's people like me... You know just sitting on the couch watching Tosh.0 eating a bag of Doritos minding my own business when a i notice a spider on the floor. Its not bugging me I'm not bothering it, we both go on our separate ways.

Anyways that's how i feel about spiders

now to the story!

Alright yesterday, upon arriving home my mother requested my help in carrying 60 pound bags of salt past the gate to the backyard where we store them. Not a bad request and i more than happily obliged. Bear with me on this: so the path from the pile o' salt bags on my drive way to the storage unit is down the steps, through a fence gate, down and around a corner under the deck above, then a quick left. Anyways I took this trip 5 times, not being bothered at all, jamming out to some music, etc. on the fifth trip ears full of headphones, arm full of salt i walk through a giant spider web.

SERIOUSLY, the web wasn't there the first 5 times i walked through the and i didnt take any different paths, i didn't limbo my way under anything, there were no trip wires that required dodging, so did this fucking spider spin this web in the 30 seconds i was gone... this spider was probably laughing its ass of looking something like this:


Spider horror story Trolls10


So, back to the story, I'm gallanting my way by then, BAM spider web all up in my grill and i half-heartily wipe the strands away. I set the bag i was carrying down in the storage thingy and wiped the rest of web.

30 fucking seconds later, This MUTHERFUCKING GIANT ASS SPIDER, strolls out of my hair line down my face and places a leg IN MY FUCKING MOUTH, MY MOUTH ARE YOU SERIOUS!.

now the spider looked like this:

Spider horror story Spider10

CREEPY AS FUCK


anyways i falcon punch/paladin infinity combo the shit outta this motherfucker off my face and after a series of swift punches and freaky dance moves this creep ass lands in between my big toe and next toe - I was wearing flippity flops.

say hi to my foot: the red zone is where said spider landed

Spider horror story El_foo10

anyways, after it landed there i went into a series of flash dance moves and stomped the yard. What i failed to mention, was that this here spider was a mother spider... And decided to hatch the egg it was carrying on its back right there between my toes.

now my foot looked something like this:

Spider horror story Elfoot10

RIGHT FREAK MODE ACTIVATE.


Anyways after repeatedly kicking my self for about 5 minutes i think i got all of the spiders off... but i had that feeling all day that i had spiders all over my body. This feeling along with the actual terrorness of the situation explained above has led to a red hot, passion of a 1000 burning sun, hatred for all spiders. oh the nightmares....

NOW when i see a spider I'm going to be like:

Spider horror story Sparta10

Spider horror story Sparta11

Well i hope you enjoyed story time, i know i didnt Very Happy

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Deedlit
Knight
Knight
Deedlit


Posts : 66
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Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 40
Location : Olathe, KS

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 10:56 pm

No
No
No

Suspect
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KnightLeader
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
KnightLeader


Posts : 61
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Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 29
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: herpderp wut?   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:01 pm

what precisely does

No
No
No
Suspect

mean?
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Deedlit
Knight
Knight
Deedlit


Posts : 66
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 40
Location : Olathe, KS

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:17 pm

I hates spiders.
Crying or Very sad

Or more precisely.....
From my own experiences:

*Wakes up.*
*Giant Wolf-spider the size of my gorram FIST is laying on my chest staring right back up at me.*
*Goes back to sleep....*
Wait a minute...

pale pale pale
affraid affraid affraid

OH HOLY MOTHER OF GROD GET IT OFFF!!!! *Runs around screaming like a woman slapping my chest*

-_________-
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KnightLeader
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
KnightLeader


Posts : 61
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 29
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: <3<3<3<3   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:24 pm

So you felt a personal connection to my story Very Happy
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Deedlit
Knight
Knight
Deedlit


Posts : 66
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 40
Location : Olathe, KS

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:27 pm

A personal connection that probably went something like:
I never want to hear another spider-story about baby spiders crawling up someone's feet EVEERRRRRRRRR. Evil or Very Mad

I'm gonna have nightmares for a week now. flower

Hahaha I love you
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Irukashi69
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
Irukashi69


Posts : 62
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Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 31
Location : In your pants.

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:28 pm

I NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE xD
That had to suck ASS! BAHAHAH. I mean, I'm not afraid of spiders, but shit,
what you just told me, kinda has me iffy on when I step on spiders... What will come of it. Holy shit, that....LOL...LMFAO...LLLOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel spiders on me now Sad
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Deedlit
Knight
Knight
Deedlit


Posts : 66
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 40
Location : Olathe, KS

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:30 pm

I don't know what I was more afraid of.
The spider story.
Or that foot.
alien
Shocked
xD Wink
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Irukashi69
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
Irukashi69


Posts : 62
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 31
Location : In your pants.

Spider horror story Empty
PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:31 pm

LMFAO, STOP,LOL.
I need to breathe, to be able to laugh... I CAN'T BREATHE.

..
......
.
*gaaaaaaghs*
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!
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KnightLeader
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
KnightLeader


Posts : 61
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Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 29
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: <3   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:34 pm

I like story time Very Happy

WHOS NEXT
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Irukashi69
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
Irukashi69


Posts : 62
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 31
Location : In your pants.

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeMon Sep 26, 2011 11:53 pm

Me, but it will be romantic.
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KnightLeader
SwagKnight
SwagKnight
KnightLeader


Posts : 61
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 29
Location : Virginia

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PostSubject: Foots?   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 27, 2011 12:23 am

Will it be about feet? Dee might be interested
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Deedlit
Knight
Knight
Deedlit


Posts : 66
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2011-09-16
Age : 40
Location : Olathe, KS

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PostSubject: Re: Spider horror story   Spider horror story I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 27, 2011 8:31 pm

Haha I think anything romantically linked to feet would have me taking 5,000,000 VERY large steps away from.
Laughing
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